KAREN ANDERSON: It started as a chat -and here we are 100 columns later!
Who Cares? by Ross-shire Journal columnist, Karen Anderson.
This column is something of a milestone. My 100th time wittering on in our local weekly paper. I can hardly believe it! The first one was in December 2015 and here we are nearly nine years later and I’m still at it.
It all came about as an idea I had when applying for a role as a consultant for the NHS as the Highland Carer Voice Co-ordinator. The role was specifically brought in to raise awareness of the number of unpaid carers in Highland who are looking after a family member, friend or neighbour who through illness, disability or addiction are unable to manage alone, and to campaign for them to be involved in planning and decisions that are made to support their cared for person.
I had this lightbulb moment – I should approach the local paper and ask to write a monthly column. We didn’t hold out much hope for it being possible, but in my own way, I was driven to try to make it happen regardless.
Hector, still the editor of this esteemed publication, was uncertain when I initially approached him. I’d go as far as to say non-committal! And rightly so. A complete stranger approaches him out of the blue asking to be published monthly with no track record at all?
His sensible approach? “Give me an example of what you want to write and we’ll see”.
As they say, the rest is history. And so much history for me and my boy. He was thirteen when I started this. In the time I have been sharing my life with you all he has gone through secondary school, got caught up in the mess that was estimated exam grades during Covid, left school (or rather school petered out in March 2020), tried but wasn’t able to cope with a degree course at UHI, started his own YouTube channel (ZZ9 Productions) and grew up a lot.
In the same period I have been his support and shared care for my Mum during five years of advancing dementia, failing health and death, moved house twice, changed job once, survived cancer, lost three stones in weight, got fit, been promoted, ended a marriage, found a new wonderful partner when I least expected to, and rediscovered loads of activities and hobbies that I had lost as life got in the way over the years.
To say it’s been quite a journey is an understatement. But going back and reading that first column reminded me why I do this – and without a single penny having changed hands for anything you have ever read from me. I’ll finish with a bit from that column.
We can spend many days answering the question, ‘How’s your dad/wife/son/mother?’ or whoever we care for, and yet nobody says, ‘How are you?’ Sometimes it’s because they don’t know what they’ll do if you say anything other than ‘Fine’. So, if you know someone who is an unpaid carer, look at them, really see them, and if you can, ask what you can do to help. An hour to go get a haircut, do some shopping on their own, or just have a long bath can make more of a difference than you know.
But what makes the biggest difference is knowing that someone has noticed you and appreciates everything you are doing. That sets you up to carry on for another while.
Karen is Mum to an autistic son in his twenties and campaigns for the rights of carers to be supported in their caring role and involved in the decisions that affect their lives and the lives of the people they care for. You can find her on X and Instagram @Karen4Carers.
