KAREN ANDERSON: The dangers of falling in love while house-hunting
Moving into a new year is always a time of quite mixed feeling for me, and even more so this year. So much changed in 2024, but there is a lot still left to do to settle myself and the boy into a secure new life.
There is the small matter of the unstable living situation being in private rented property causes. Now I know I am in a fortunate position to have a warm, comfortable and beautiful flat in the heart of Inverness, but being on a lease managed by agents with owners who are abroad and could decide they want to sell giving only 30 days’ notice, does not make for a feeling of stability and being truly home.
Therefore, I have started the search for a house to buy. I am under no illusions that I can afford anything like the house we sold last year with only half the money to spend, and I am not expecting to get a palace without having to do work on it. But having so recently gone through the selling process, it has been a real eye opener seeing how some homes have been presented for sale, and the somewhat unrealistic expectations the whole ‘offers over’ system seems to give.
It is a bit pot / kettle, but I presented the house and garden immaculately for every viewing, with hours spent making sure not a spec of dust dared show it’s face, while hiding so much stuff in cupboards and the shed that the doors bulged slightly of course. But viewing houses this last few weeks, I have been greeted with sights, and smells that did not make me want to jump in for the sale.
Yes, cosmetic stuff like cleaning and decorating are subjective and easily remedied, but deeply ingrained dirt and mould, suspiciously stained carpets and the current residents’ dirty laundry create an impression of lack of care that you would assume would include the big stuff like the structure of the house.
Of course, the biggest danger of house hunting is falling in love with a property that goes for more than you can pay or gets sold while you are sorting out the legals on your bid. I had this once before and for months after I had found my home and moved in, I still used to take a wee detour now and again to see the house of my dreams as it was taken apart and put back together again by the new owners. It transpired that there was a lot more to do to it than I had factored in, so really it was a lucky escape from a money pit, but a girl can dream.
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But if there was one thing I would wish for in all of this house buying malarky it would be some form of guarantee that the boy would be safe, secure and able to manage the home after I am no longer with him. That is almost impossible to predict, but it weighs heavy on me nonetheless. All the cliches in the world related to fate cannot provide me with the reassurance I need though, and that is the toughest thing of all.
So I’ll just do what I always do – assess and research everything I can, make the best decision from the information available, do my absolute best to make its the home we both need, and continue to work with him to encourage the positive activities that will give him a rewarding and enjoyable future life.
Karen is Mum to an autistic son in his twenties and campaigns for the rights of w carers to be supported in their caring role and involved in the decisions that affect their lives and the lives of the people they care for. You can find her on X and Instagram @Karen4Carers.
