Highland man who survived cancer three times urges people to talk about mental health
Next up in our Life After Cancer series, we meet the resilient Rob Worthing.
He has survived cancer an astonishing three times. Having first been diagnosed with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma — a type of blood cancer — at the age of 16, he battled it again at 18 and 36.
Now, at 45, Rob is a father of two, husband to Janice, and a passionate swimming instructor at High Life Highland.
Speaking about when he was first diagnosed with cancer on his neck at the age of 16, Rob said:
“It’s that saying that ‘you’re made of rubber when you’re young,’ and it was a lot like that.
“I was told I had cancer, and I just thought, ‘Oh, okay,’ and my mum always talks about how she was crying when we found out, and I was telling her it would be okay.
“When I started getting treatment, it became very real. I had lived in Lairg before, but when I started my treatment, it coincided with starting college in Inverness.
“It was hard, as I was away from home, living in halls of residence, and going up to the hospital every day to get radiotherapy.”
Rob still has patches on the back of his head from where he lost his hair during his first treatment, as radiotherapy was not as advanced then as it is now.
He was given the all-clear from the cancer on his neck.
But not long after, Rob started to notice unusual sensations in his body, including pins and needles in his legs. He would fall over while walking and eventually lost all ability to walk.
He spent three weeks in Raigmore undergoing various scans before a specialist from Aberdeen identified a tumour just behind his spinal cord.
Rob then had to undergo a major operation and spent the next two years in a wheelchair.
“It was really, really hard,” he said.
“It was around the time I met my wife, Janice, and we had our first son too.
“When Sam was first born, I couldn’t be left alone with him, or if I was, I couldn’t stand up and take him to his cot. It was just really difficult.
“I was also going through treatment, so if I was sick and needed to go to the toilet, I couldn’t just get up, so I would be sick on the couch or need a bag beside me.
“It was all quite isolating and horrible, really.”
Despite being told he would never walk again, Rob was determined, which he attributes to his autism.
With lots of physiotherapy and perseverance, he spent two years relearning how to walk and move again.
“Autism makes me very focused on things. When the doctor told me I wouldn’t walk again, apparently the first thing I said was, ‘I will,’ and I didn’t even take a breath.
“I was put into physiotherapy with another young lad who had lost his leg in a car crash, and the two of us became quite good friends.
“I think we both looked forward to going to physio because we were in hospital, we were both quite young, and we didn’t see many people.
“So, we looked forward to meeting up in physio. And again, both being young boys, it became a bit of a competition. Who's going to stand up first? Who's going to take the first step?
“It was just a positive environment, and the physio was brilliant.”
Rob went back to work at 24, after four years as a stay-at-home dad. Incredibly, he learned to walk again after using a Zimmer frame and crutches following his time in a wheelchair.
Swimming had been ‘his sport’ as a child, so he trained as a swimming instructor and has been doing it for the last 20 years. He also took up CrossFit and developed a ‘go for it’ attitude after battling cancer twice.
Rob and Janice had a second child, and he took up rock climbing and cricket alongside all his other activities.
However, at 36, Rob started experiencing persistent back pain that wouldn’t go away.
“I knew in the back of my mind what it was straight away,” he explained.
“But I didn’t want to acknowledge it because I knew how hard it was going to be. So it probably went on for about a month.
“I ended up going to the doctors, and they initially treated me for sciatica, which was completely understandable because my tumour this time was just above my sciatic nerve.
“They put me on lots of painkillers. I was taking a lot of codeine, and I ended up collapsing because I had unknowingly overdosed on codeine over three months.
“My kidneys stopped working, and I was taken into hospital. From there, they ran tests and found cancer for the third time.”
With a teenager and a 10-year-old this time around, Rob said this was the ‘hardest experience of them all’.
“It was about more than just me this time. Whereas the first two times I could be a little selfish and just concentrate on getting better,” he explained.
“This time, I had to think about my son, my daughter, and my wife. Telling my kids I had cancer was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
“The first two times, I didn’t have to think about things like, ‘If I pass away, I won’t be at my son or daughter’s wedding.’
“Whereas the third time, it was like—there’s a real chance my kids and wife won’t have me here.”
Rob went through chemotherapy and radiotherapy once again.
He finished his treatment at 37 and was given the all-clear. However, a few years later, the mental impact of everything caught up with him, and he was signed off work with depression and anxiety.
“I was trying to put on a brave face and be positive, but then the fear of losing years caught up with me,” he said.
“I was worrying about whether it would come back, wondering why it happened three times, and how it would impact my family.
“I’ve also sort of reached the limit for chemo now, so the next step would be stem cell treatment.
“When I went to the NHS for depression, I saw a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with autism, which, honestly, was a bit of a relief as I knew my brain worked a bit differently.”
Rob has since learned coping mechanisms, including hiking and reading, to help him manage his darker thoughts and feelings. Surrounding himself with a loving family and friends has also been crucial.
“For the last two years, I’ve done a solo hike. I did the Great Glen Way, which is 100 miles, and then the West Highland Way, which is also 100 miles,” he smiled.
“This summer, I’m doing them both together. I wild camp, so I just walk until I get tired, pitch my tent, and rest. And that’s huge for me.
“I like being around people, but I also really value my own space. Learning that has been a big thing for me. It’s healthy to just get out into nature for a week.
“I’ve gone from three or four years ago, when I was off work, to now being in a much better place.
“I don’t think there’s much that could knock me back now. Maybe for a couple of minutes, but then I’d think, ‘Right, what do I need to do? How can I handle this?’”
Rob is now urging anyone facing cancer or other medical issues to talk to someone.
“Whether that be a professional, your mum, dad, wife—talk to people. Let your feelings out. Be aware of what’s happening mentally as well as physically.
“There are brilliant charities out there, whether it’s for autism or specific cancer support.”
